“When people show you who they are, believe them.”
Dr. Maya Angelou
“You have to show people who you are before they’ll believe you.”
My spin
There are two parts of this conversation:
- Actively wrangling the people you work with so you can be as efficient as possible
- Setting boundaries around your time and energy so you can thrive
I find this to be a very nuanced conversation because wrangling and boundaries require a careful social interplay. We need to be guarded and careful about our time and energy so we can get good work done, but generous and helpful with our spirit and actions so we help people to the best of our ability???😂
It’s a very fine line to walk and you have to find that line for yourself – I can’t tell you what’s crossing a boundary or not, what’s reasonable or unreasonable. The same behavior can be reasonable in one scenario and unreasonable in another. The same behavior from one client could enrage you and make you laugh and roll your eyes from another.
That’s why building yourself up is the answer. You are on a journey to become someone who can make that call and proceed with as close to confidence as possible. In a way that meets your needs first and the needs of your client second
Beware of being too helpful. People use helpful people. They don’t always respect them or pay them. We need to find a way to be helpful on our own terms, to satisfy our desire to assist people we like doing things they love… without being taken advantage of.
This ends up being a central part of thriving in the long-term as a freelancer. Clear boundaries, proactively communicated helps you avoid the emotional build up (and long, rambling emails) that lead to miscommunication and weird interactions. (If you ever find yourself writing an email about boundaries that’s longer than 5 lines, it probably needs to be a phone call!)
CLIENT WRANGLING
Client wrangling is something you can titrate by the clients you work with, across every client type (agency, publication, direct, etc.). Some clients are hands-on by nature. Some clients are hands-off by nature
Hands-on isn’t necessarily a bad thing – it’s just a way of working. Each client will come with their own take on how much project management they expect you to do. You can look for these behaviors as you go (and even ask direct questions about it) and start to use them as a part of your qualifying strategy.
One thing that can help you make this transition into a professional…. “You are a peer until you prove otherwise.” Start walking into conversations giving yourself credit for what you’ve experienced and accomplished. Other people are building themselves up in that way — you’re at a disadvantage if you don’t support yourself, too
So let’s get practical! Here are the three major strategies I use to wrangle clients and accurately titrate my project management to within the scope of what I’m billing:
- Editorial schedule
- Technology and tools
- Email funneling
EDITORIAL SCHEDULE (KICK OFF, OUTLINE, SME, DRAFT)
Part of what people enjoy about working with me is that I bring a formal editorial process to the project (I’ve had this called out on a prospecting call before). They don’t have to worry about being the engine behind things because I’m going to proactively move them through the for milestones in my process: Kick off, Outline, SME, Draft. This helps them understand where they are in the process, which is invaluable, but it also helps me compartmentalize where I am in the process and more easily focus on other things without feeling like I’m missing something important.
Visual representations of time can be very important
when you’ve got a lot of moving parts!
It may feel awkward at first to put your own processes on a client (we’re so used to asking people how they want things done), but with practice it will feel like strapping them into a safe roller coaster. Gaining confidence in your own process is what will give clients confidence in you.
Over time, moving clients through the process becomes a tool you can use to make conversations and emails and invoices easier…
- “The next step in the process is for me to send you an invoice, and then we’ll schedule the kick off call”
- “The next step in the process is that I’m going to take these notes and create an outline for you to review. Once that’s approved, we can move forward with interviewing the people on your team you’d like to feature.”
- “The next step in this process is that I’m going to take my notes from this interview and create quotes for you. You’ll have a week to review those quotes before we move to the design draft.”
Recommended Resource: Stress-Free Editorial Processes
STREAMLINE WITH TECHNOLOGY
There’s a lot of wonderful technology to experiment with as it comes out. Basically, any time you perform a task on a computer that involves a client, there might be a tool that can make it easier or more efficient, so start with an audit there. (Just make sure you’re doing so with an eye on the clock so you don’t get lost down the rabbit hole)
For example…
- When a new client wants to schedule with you, create and send a Calendly link that protects your time (create a custom schedule first, limiting calls to 12-4PM ET each weekday, or whatever works best for you)
- When you take client kick off calls, always take notes in you Notes app so you can review the call later
- When you take a new client, add a folder with their name in your “Operations Folder” in Google Drive
- When you kick off a new project, create an invoice in FreshBooks with the details
- When a client sends you background info as a PDF, save a copy in the project’s folder in Google Drive
- When a client sends you new assignments for the month, organize them in a dated folder in Google Drive. Put the invoice number in the folder title.
Whenever a client takes an action… I have created a mirror action I do right away. There’s nothing to think about — I just take the action and move through the process. I think this is a key to what’s allowed me to scale to 10-15 projects a month and a higher income per month over long periods of time. If I had to start from scratch with each project and “sort it out” every time I sat down to it, it would take up a lot of extra time and mental energy.
You might be tempted to see this as a checklist… but checklists can be bulky and inauthentic; they can make you add more than you need to. There are general buckets or concepts you want to cover… but even those buckets are determined by your clients and your process. The absolute best way to create your process is to get a new client and document how you get started with them. Learning to document and reflect on your process is like a free M.B.A. and a personal assistant wrapped up in one.
Recommended Resource: Organizing Content With Technology
TAME YOUR INBOX
Most of your business will be run through your email inbox, even if you have a call-heavy workload. Taming your inbox and learning how to use it the way that works for you should be a priority. Taming means 1) understanding about how much email you get each day and where it’s coming from, 2) creating rhythms around how you’ll respond to emails, 3) deciding if your inbox is a to do list or a searchable directory.
Decide when you’ll check email. Contrary to popular belief, you don’t have to have your inbox up and refreshed every 15 minutes (Which is something I tend to do when I’m feeling resistance). If you think you have an email problem, try putting yourself on a schedule where you reduce how often you check. First try every hour on the hour, then every two hours. Move into something like 9AM and 4PM and you’ll see huge blocks of time open up for you.
Funnel your inboxes into one inbox to rule them all! Bring all of the email madness into one place instead of logging into multiple addresses for your clients and you. For me, I have @greesonbachcreative, @b2bwritinginstitute, and I used to be assigned 1-2 addresses for client work. Now I just open Kiwi for Gmail.
Double-funnel your inboxes to reduce distractibility. First separate out your actual email addresses… and then separate out the clients who email you at that address. This is how I bring each client’s swirling madness into one place, so I can address their needs on MY schedule, not their schedule.
- How to do it
- Create a tag for the client (use emojis to make it fun! I used color circles)
- Find an email from the client and select it
- Hit the “three dots” and select “Filter emails like this”
- In the “from” address, add @CompanyName. Com (This will catch all emails from their server, no matter who sends it)
- Select “Create filter”
- Select “Skip the inbox” and “Apply label” and choose the label you made
- Tip: do not mark it as read. You want to know when there’s a new email.
Warning: The first week you try this, it is hard to remember to check the filters. Set an alarm on your phone or create a post it note to make sure you don’t get in hot water! (I got in hot water…)
❓What’s missing from this list? ❓
BUILDING AND SETTING BOUNDARIES
For the sake of our work today, I’m going to define boundaries as the behavior you are and are not willing to accept from the people you work with. This can be extreme and defensive like “I don’t tolerate yelling,” or it can be gentle and proactive like, “I don’t take calls on Friday.” Boundaries are there to take care of you and the people you work for. Boundaries help us operate successfully and interdependently, instead of ineffectively and co-dependently
Boundaries are an inside job. They are difficult because they have to originate within you with very few exceptions, no one else can set boundaries for you. They can set them for a job and you can accept them… but they can’t decide yours and uphold them for you.
We transfer a lot of our employee behaviors to self-employment without evaluating them. A lot more of this is optional than we think it is — we just cling to safety because it’s what’s familiar in this strange new world. Here’s what’s on the table when you’re deciding how you’ll work and with who, which you get to re-create:
- What time of day you work
- Your exclusivity to a client
- The kind of help you’ll give or work you’ll do
- The type of work you’ll do
- How often you check email
- When you’ll email them back
- How much you charge
- How long they have to pay an invoice (Strawberry)
❓What’s missing from this list? ❓
Listening to how other people run businesses can be really enlightening. I picked up a lot of what’s possible by looking at what other people were doing, like Joanna Weibe’s “diva list.” It can be great to network and make friends with other writers so you can “compare notes” on the business and lifestyle choices you’re making. You can also quick-test client behaviors to see if they’re out of the ordinary (or just to remember what’s true in the big picture).
Beware: there are also predators out there who will take advantage of your bad boundaries. It’s tricky because some people truly have their best intentions and will take advantage of your boundaries without realizing it. Some people are truly users and will seek out bad boundaries to exploit them. Always listen to your gut about clients.
Some boundaries I’ve set over the years:
- I used to write back within 30 minutes or so because it was important to me to be responsive, now I write back within 24 business hours
- I used to take calls 8-5PM EST… now it’s more like 12-4PM ET Tu/Wed/Thurs
- I used to accept payment pretty much at any point, now I highly prioritize pre-payment, or at least a 50% deposit
- I used to join the client’s Slack and get an email address, now I opt out of that because it gives me more to check
- I used to write about any and everything, now I don’t pursue work that isn’t in B2B
❓What kind of boundaries have you set? ❓
WHEN WRANGLING AND BOUNDARIES GO WRONG
When something goes wrong (which it will!) speak from a place of honesty and integrity, and always try to make something right if it’s within your power. Clearly state what went wrong and what you’ll do about it: “I would never want you to feel I am ignoring your emails. Moving forward, I’ll make sure I check in at least once a week.”
Express your compassion and friendliness no matter what you’re turning down: “I’m so sorry, I’m not able to do that,” with a big smile on your face — that’s all you need to say. Remember you’re in this relationship, too. You will almost never be all wrong or all right. Let that give you confidence in moving forward around boundaries as a peer.
ADDITIONAL RESOURCES
- “Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life,” by John Townsend, Henry Cloud
- “Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself,” by Nedra Glover Tawwab
- “The Courage to Be Disliked: The Japanese Phenomenon That Shows You How to Change Your Life and Achieve Real Happiness,” by Ichiro Kishimi, Fumitake Koga
“Playing Big” by Tara Mohr