“You limit yourself by reducing the number of viewpoints you see.”
― Meir Ezra
Hello, and welcome…
Let’s get social with a warm-up question:
What’s your experience with limiting beliefs been like so far? Do you buy it, or are you still feeling a little skeptical?
“Apples make me sick.”
“There’s no door there.”
WHAT IS A LIMITING BELIEFS?
There are self-limiting beliefs, which I see as more of a self respect, self-esteem thing. We can learn from other people that we’re good at X or bad at Y, and we take that and internalize it, and that’s not great. Therapy is great for that, so is journaling.
What I want to talk about today is more far-reaching than that. It’s more about our map of the world and what’s possible and good for us… not so much about how we describe or see ourselves. There can be overlaps, but for the sake of today… Limiting beliefs are about where we can go on the map; not who we are or how equipped we are to get there.
In our example, if I believe apples are bad to eat, I will not eat an apple. If I believe there is no door there, I will not try to open that door. If I believe making $10,000/mo means you’re a bad person, I will do whatever I can to not do that, because I don’t want to be a bad person. Maybe consciously (choosing a different career, giving away our time, etc.) or unconsciously (self-sabotage, burnout, procrastination).
It’s not that the limiting belief MAKES these things true by “magic”… it’s that by acting on our limiting belief (which may not be true) we blast past an actual opportunity.
When we uncover a limiting belief through journaling, self-reflection, reading, or coaching, we give ourselves a chance to see the new path or option, or consciously accept that limit, or decide it’s outstayed its welcome.
A small sample of my previous limiting beliefs (lol):
- “Selling means taking advantage of someone,” and “If it’s good enough, someone will want it/buy it.”
- “Rest and pleasure is something you earn,” and “If I want to achieve my goals, I need to burn the midnight oil every chance I can.”
- “I’m just not good with money,” and “Money is hard to earn.”
- “Happy people are stupid,” and “If you’re happy, something bad is about to happen.”
- “I can’t ask for anything, because everyone will say no.”
CONCLUSION AND Q&A
When you land on a particularly prickly idea and you don’t know why it gets under your skin, that’s where to dig in! It’s like a splinter… go through a little bit more pain and potentially remove that splinter forever, gaining back use of that limb.
Questions to ask yourself:
- Is this actually true or is it made up? (From my parents, culture, life, etc.)
- Does everyone else believe this to be true about me? (And do I have any evidence of that?)
- Is it serving me at all to believe this? (If it’s particularly hurtful and not based in reality, am I willing to let it go?)
Then, try to figure out “the opposite” of that limiting belief, something you need to hear that you can turn into a mantra of healing (and write it every day, etc.)
And keep an eye out for different voices…
- Negative ideas, insults, and putting yourself down is often the voice of the inner critic
- Positive ideas, calm observations, hopeful insights, compliments is often the voice of the inner mentor
- 🤯