I can’t be the only one getting snatched up in the TikTok algo about #overwhelm.
But dang if it isn’t true – sometimes I feel like I am being blown about by hurricane force winds while I’m just laying a plate of chicken nuggets in front of my kids.
(If you ever come over for dinner, that’s why there’s Chik-fil-a sauce on the walls. Just sayin’.)
Your “kids” might be depression. Or an injured or ill family member. Or ennui.
I’ve come to understand we all have “kids,” even if it’s as self-contained as procrastination or perfectionism.
And yet…
And yet… you still want to make progress. To do something. To change something. To achieve something.
So do I. And so can you.
Here are some things I think about when I am overwhelmed but also determined not to ignore the call to make a change:
1. Tame it with handwriting
Tech bros like my husband don’t @ me. I just need to write it down.
I have a variety of notebooks and pens that I use to make lists, to plan out my week, and to VENT each day for about 500 words of chicken scratch.
(I have a couple videos of this on YouTube, just reply if you want some links).
I use digital lists for shared things like groceries, but if I want to de-stress and re-focus, it goes on paper.
Today’s list started with “2022 Things I’ve Liked” so I can try to get to the heart of what I want to do with 2023. I’ll probably make a “2022 Things I Didn’t Like” list as well so I can avoid those situations this coming year.
If your change is freelance writing this year, might I suggest a page with three columns?
The columns say:
- Acquisition
- Sales
- Fulfillment
And that’s where you’ll write down little bits of things you need to do in order to find clients, get hired by them, and fulfill the work you’ve sold.
See how it immediately crystalizes what’s most important to do next, with whatever 20 minute window you have?
2. Listen to the voices in your head
When I’m doing that journaling and generally writing, “What am I going to do? What am I going to do?” I can’t always email my besties to ask off the wall questions.
(Well, I can sometimes, but not always).
So I freely admit I’ve created a “augmented reality brain version” of several wise people and I ask them what I should do in my head.
Ed, you’re in there. You, too, Ash. Lexi. Lee. You’re all smart and we probably have more conversations than you know about.
You can do this, too! Just read all the free stuff and listen to all the free stuff on the Internet from one or two really smart people.
Let it create an avatar in your head so you can internalize their healthy way of thinking. Then, when you hit a crossroads or a patch of overwhelm, ask yourself, “How would so-and-so coach me through this? Where would they start?”
3. Unlock your body
I won’t pretend to be an expert in it, but the brain-body connection is wild.
I’m seeing a really cool mirror thing going on where being stuck in my head can be solved with my body, and being stuck in my body can be solved with my head.
Examples:
When I’m trapped in a swirling vortex of overwhelm and TikTok has its silky claws in my brain, I make myself stand up and shake it out to break out of it.
When an argument at home seeps tension into my gut and I can feel myself locking up, I ask myself to think about the argument differently and return to “core thoughts” that help me reconnect with my argument partner.
Try to “move” your way out lockdown in the brain, and “re-think” your way out of lockdown in the body.
It feels like my whole life since having kids has been a lesson in moving forward despite crippling overwhelm, so these are just three specific examples.
There’s a lot more that I do… but here’s the thing that woke me up today:
How we handle this feeling of overwhelm RIGHT NOW is our life. There’s likely no clear line of “after” that will distinguish the overwhelm today from the overwhelm of tomorrow.
We need to try new things and explore new sensations so we can increasingly make a home in this state of overwhelm.
Not because we want to stay in it (I’m in the middle of a big decluttering initiative, myself).
But because we can’t predict when the next wave will hit, or what will cause it.
We need to make peace with finding that balance on every new wave…or we’ll look up one day 20 years from now and realize that peaceful, calm window to take action never came and we didn’t do the thing we wanted to do.
(Now that would be overwhelming.)